Shrieks and Tears

For the last two days, I have left home accompanied by the screams and tears of Ben desperately trying to get to me as I walk out the door. Paul says "He misses you when you go so he wants you to say." I say, "Well, it is breaking my heart, but I have to go to work so that we don't lose the house or starve to death."

All I know is that there is nothing worse in this world as having your child reach for you while crying and screaming, but not being able to do anything but his him goodbye and walk out the door. I know that after I leave, he is fine but it still is awful at the time.

Just pray for my heart, because right now living in a converted school bus on a commune is looking fairly attractive. I might hate the whole "earth-mother-hippy-tree-hugger" thing, but at least I could be with my babies while squatting in the fields picking turnips... Do you think communes have salons for my manicures, pedicures and facials? If they do, then I think that I might be moving.