Speaking of food...

Below, you will find the reason I will forever eat my dinner looking down at the table and not looking at my children. I know the "experts" say that toddlers need to "experience" food texture and taste, but honestly, for others present, it is like watching a lion rip the intestines from a defenseless bunny. This "expert" should be set up in the brain-washing chair from "Clockwork Orange" and forced to watch my kids eat a hamburger. Nothing like witnessing the gagging of putting too much meat in their mouths, and then the extraction of that chewed beef from their gapping mouth as their tongues flicks small flecks of ground flesh toward their mother. The same woman who carried them for 36 weeks during which she lost the ability to control her bladder and ended up producing enough gas to save the US economy. But hey, those "experts" might like it while this "expert" is slowly breathing through her nose trying not to add my chewed beef to the "experience" of texture and taste.