Parent Speak

There are so many things that you never thought you would say before you became a parent and some of them are just plain odd. Below are some of my favorites:

1. Don't head-butt the cat!

2. Don't finger paint with your poo!

3. Get that light bulb out of your mouth!

4. Don't poop in the tub!

5. Daddy did NOT poison your food, now eat!!!

I can't decide if my boys are out of control or if they are just being toddlers. Either way, I am slowly creating a manifesto on how to live a happy and productive life, and I believe I have just named the first five chapters.